- "Oh, the colonel was dead drunk. Three hours pissing on about the enlisted men, uh, they're scum, uh, they're not fighters -- and, uh, and then he passed right out.Boom.
We couldn't even move him. So, uh, Tracey just snipped it right off his face. And you never seen a man more proud of his mustache than Colonel Orbrin. In all my life I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret. Big walrussy thing, all waxed up... … Oh! The next morning, he wakes up, it's gone, and he is furious, but he can't just say, you know, "someone stole my mustache." So he, uh, calls together all the platoons -- We thought he was gonna shoot us -- And, uh, oh, he's eyeballing all the men something fierce, not a word, and he comes up to Tracey... and Tracey's wearing the gorram thing on his face. He had glued it on. Staring the old man down, wearing his own damn mustache."
- ―Mal and Zoe[src]